In Loving Memory: 2/10/1985 – 1/15/2016
Post Landslide Update of the Van Woerkom Family
May 17, 2017
I woke up this morning feeling as though I wanted to provide an update on the Van Woerkom family and specifically share some thoughts on grief. It has now been 16 months since we lost Randy to death by suicide and yes, I’m tracking his absence the same way I tracked his months those first couple of years after he was born. …Read on @ http://courageouswomensclub.com/resurfacing-above-the-landslide/
An update from Jacke (Mom)…
Greetings Family & Friends,
Found a little time to give you an update on the family since many of you have been praying and loving on us since this horrific landslide. All of us, Larry, me, Ryan, Mitch, Jim, Marcai and the boys, daily continue to establish our new normal despite the effects of our own individual levels of PTSD and sorrow. There are many many layers to mentally and physically work through in order to recover from this.
I’d like to provide you with a better explanation of what PTSD is, so that you may better understand the difference in how we may relate to all of you.
Post-traumatic Stress Disorder: A condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to the outside world.
This message is to continue to provide you “HOPE” in whatever circumstances you face and to keep this real. You see all the posts of us surrounded by the love of others and our equine friends, but truly every day presents its own struggles, but we know that there are many examples in God’s Word where beauty is brought from the ashes.
“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”. Matthew 6:34
Yesterday, I asked each family member to provide me with one or more words that describes where they are and then what gives them strength and HOPE to counter that.
Marcai: Text me a photo depicting God holding her in His hands filling the holes in her heart. She said, “He has me!”
Jim: “Uncertainty”. “Right now, all I have to cling to is hope. As we cry and weep, mourning our losses, when that season ends we will all be on the road to recovery.”
Larry: “faith and courage”
Ryan: “Bewildered, but still trusts”.
Jacke: “Suffocation at times, but God breathes air into me and I press on”!
Mitch: “Hurting, but finding ways to be strong for Randy and our family”.
Noah and Jack are in school and doing well. Their little hearts are still trying to express the loss of their daddy and embrace the many changes and guidance being under the roof of many family members who love them. They have a room of their own with bunk beds that were gifted to us, a plethora of new toys and stuffed animals and today, after a trip to IKEA, we are making cubbies to organize things and a small table for them to do homework and games. They are slowly learning to care for the mini horses “Cowgirl” and “Buddy” and they’re naturally experiencing the therapy that comes from the equine family.
We are so very very grateful to all of you, our church family and the many professionals that have been chosen to help us seek light and oxygen after being buried in this landslide. Please pray for these church leaders, counselors and teachers that are seeking God’s guidance to bring a healing unto us all.
I want to close by saying, part of our healing is ministering to all of you. For me, this has been a natural response. We’re not asking for sympathy, but to again, keep this real by saying, it truly is the heaviest burden we’ve ever experienced, yet what would we do without knowing that God continues to carry us through. He didn’t do this! We were given Free Will and when we choose a plan that is not of His, the consequences of our own sin harm us and often times others. You can choose to be a “victim” of horrific circumstances or you can look up and have “victory”. Keep digging if you’re buried in a landslide!
~Jacke Van Woerkom
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This is a clip from The Lord of the Rings that depicts the feeling of this landslide we’ve experienced and at the end demonstrates that everyone has a different reaction to disaster. We are all re-surfacing, yet at times gasping for air…however, HOPE in the Lord gives us the tenacity and courage to conquer!
Noah (6) and Jack (4) with family in backyard sending messages to Daddy in Heaven after Saturday’s Memorial Service at Saddleback Church.
(click here to view Memorial Service Video)
January 27, 2016 — The family is now in safe harbor after sailing the most daunting of seas and surviving the darkest & harshest of storms. It was a wearisome journey homelast Saturday from Wyoming to California, but already, the next journey seems to be unfolding with all hands on deck helping everywhere both personally and professionally.
Firstly, may the background sounds of little boys laughing and families conversing as I write this also fill your hearts.
Secondly, there is “no place like home” as we continue to witness the power of love extended by close family & hometown friends, who are devotedly helping and holding the hearts & hands of Marcai, Jim, the boys and the entire Van Woerkom Family.
Thirdly, there is no place like Facebook (as ironic as it sounds), which has enabled us to share and graciously receive your loving kindness, thoughts, prayers and words, which continue to be a tremendous gift. You help us to slowly surrender; you free us from the burden of feeling the need to hold on alone; and bestowed upon us so much warmth, light and restitution. Through each “like” and each “comment” we see another candle lit. Your loving kindness also ignites to mind a quote I once read…
~ “Beauty is not who you are on the outside, it is the wisdom and time you gave away to save another struggling soul, like you.” ― Shannon L. Alder. ~
You, dear friends, are the true essence of such beauty, and in a time it is greatly needed – thank you from the depths of our hearts. May God bless you unequivocally and may the power of Community continue to serve you as believers of the unabashed power it carries.
Lastly, there is no place like the epicenter of your heart, in which you can find The Lord Himself, and in whose house we will continue to be Sunday mornings giving our thanks and praise for his mercy, glory and grace.
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We would be most honored if you could join us in the celebration of our beloved Randy:
Saturday, Feb. 6th @ 9:00AM PST.
Saddleback Church
1 Saddleback Pkwy, Lake Forest, CA 92630
Phone: (949) 609-8000
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For those of you who wish to additionally spend 1:1 time with The Van Woerkom Family, we would feel most blessed. In this most fragile & critical time during the coming weeks, we suggest limiting it to Sundays during mid-day (12 – 4PM) on February 14th, 21st or 28th. Best is to contact Jacke and/or Larry directly to coordinate in advance. Thank you for your consideration, and moreover, thank you for time and your love.
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For those of you who cannot be physically present, please know your Love is greater than any distance. We hold that so closely to our hearts. Whether here or there, Love conquers all.
We welcome all to light a candle and post a prayer by clicking here.
With Love and Gratitude,
Nikke & Family
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(p.s.) A special heartfelt thank you to the tremendous generosity of those who have donated funds toward bearing such costs as the hospital stays, forthcoming surgeries, moving, counseling, and the like. While the GoFundMe crowdfunding page was set up by the kindhearted Brett Durante of the Wyoming Air National Guard, all proceeds go directly to Marcai and the boys.
January 20, 2016 — Words cannot express the tremendous power of light you bring. On behalf of the entire family, we want to share updates on Marcai, Noah, Jack and Jim – our family. Also, below are details about the memorial services for Randy, for those who knew him, and for those who can find it in your heart to forgive him – knowing that Marcai, Jim and his boys already have.
Each day brings a few new rays of light: Today, Marcai is better than she was yesterday as Tuesday seems to have been one of her most difficult days as she continues to process and function in the aftermath of this unthinkable journey. My incredibly beautiful and strong niece-in-law is with her father, Jim, her brother Anthony and her best friend, Lindsey as she holds on tightly to all that her blessed and fragile soul can at the moment. Thank you for your continued prayers for Marcai.
Surrounded by their uncles Ryan & Mitch, grandparents Jacke & Larry, great grandpa, “Joe PapPap”, and great uncle Eddie, the boys Noah & Jack seem to be carrying on with their lives playing together in such angelic harmony. They talk about their mommy & daddy unrelated to the incident and continue to express the love they have in their hearts for their late father.
Dear Jim is also stable but, like Marcai, is working to cope with his physical wounds and enigma of emotions. It is simply unthinkable to us that, despite what he went (and is still going) through, I have come to learn that he has been able to express the forgiveness in his heart toward the actions of his son-in-law. We are speechless and in awe by this and by the mercy God continues to show. Only He knows, however, how long it will take each of them to heal in the days, weeks, months and many years yet ahead. If there is one message out of all of this I could share, it is this:
Should your strength and faith ever be tested beyond extremes you could never imagine, hold on tightly to your Faith, to your Family and to the power of Love and Community. Hold on to it tightly even in the sunniest of your days.
~
For facing the light, like precious flowers growing toward the sun, is from where we receive our strength and ability to one day nourish others.
Thank You for your continued love & support; for taking the time to find and write the words, which express your love, concern and deep sympathy
– I know how difficult this is to do in any situation.
And Thank You for the unreserved grace & love from the entire Cheyenne community and surrounding counties in Wyoming & Colorado. The included hospital photo from Sunday as well as the GoFundMe account set up by the compassionate Brett Durante of the Wyoming Air National Guard are testaments to that.
Upon my brother Eddie’s return from Cheyenne today, this is what he shared, “While it’s hard and beyond words, it made me feel so much better to see and be with my family.”
Above are a few photo updates from today as well as one or two from the recent holidays in hopes that they may bring that same peace to your heart.
From our Hearts to Yours.
Memorial Services will be held as follows:
In Wyoming:
Thursday, Jan. 21st @ 2:00PM MST.
Location: Element Church
600 e. Carlson St. Suite 201 Cheyenne, WY 82009
Phone: (307) 635-1316
In California:
Saturday, Feb. 6th @ 9:00AM PST.
Location: Saddleback Church
1 Saddleback Pkwy, Lake Forest, CA 92630
Phone: (949) 609-8000
January 18, 2016 — Thank you for the overwhelming support and love you have all been extending. You cannot imagine what a light it is in this time of darkness. Words cannot express or convey the extent of our gratitude.
Today is another day gone by, which seems almost impossible. The world keeps on turning whilst here the world is completely turned upside down. Understandably, a lot of you have questions and confusion, which we may never be able to answer. We would like to share with you what we do know thus far:
My sister Jacke & brother-in-law Larry’s beloved grandchildren Jack and Noah, their “daugther in love” Marcai, and her father Jim are STABLE and now out of the hospital, for which we Thank God. Although they are starting their respective roads to recovery – on the outside, only God knows how long it will take each of them to heal from the pain and confusion on the inside.
We also continue to receive numerous inquiries regarding Randy. Randy did not survive this horrible ordeal and passed away on that tragic Friday night. Like all of you who truly knew Randy, I also knew my nephew as a gentle, kind, extremely warm-hearted and loving soul, a devoted, loving and caring father and husband, an absolute trophy of a son and overall an all-around compassionate person to every one he knew.
Services for Randy will be held on a “still to-be-determined” Saturday in the coming weeks at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. Details to follow in future posts.
For those of you, who have also channeled your love and support, or want to do so, in the form of donating to Marcai toward covering the needs of such forthcoming expenses as living, surgeries, counseling, etc., your generosity and benevolence does not go unnoticed nor can be underestimated. Here is the GoFundMe crowdfunding link: www.gofundme.com/MarcaiVanwoerkom
Thank you for your continued love & prayers, every one of them is felt and is helping! During this fragile & highly sensitive time, thank you for respecting the family’s space as they work to sort things out physically, mentally & in ways we cannot even begin to fathom.
With Love, Godspeed and Blessings.
<3 <3 <3 <3
January 17, 2016 — Dear Family and Friends,
We are completely at loss for words and struggle to make sense of what happened and why. The most important thing is that Noah, Jack, Marcai and Jim are alive, for which we are utterly grateful.
My sister Jacke and my brother-in-law Larry are at this moment in Cheyenne, Wyoming and are supporting their beloved grandsons, Noah (6), Jack (4), and devoted “daughter-in-love” Marcai (30) as well as her father Jim, who were all attacked by their son, Randall Van Woerkom, on Friday evening, January 15th, 2016. Jacke and Larry are stricken by grief and confusion of what occurred last Friday evening, January 15th. Foremost, despite losing their son, they thank God that Marcai and the family are still alive and are grateful for all the prayers and support as we deal with the aftermath in this inexplicable event.
My nephew, Randy, a 30-year-old loving father and dedicated military service professional suffered an extreme momentary lapse of reason resulting in this violent and almost deadly attack of his devoted wife and family. Only God knows what made him enter into this place of despair that led to this nightmare, which seems to only have just begun. It will forever remain inexplicable.
I quote my sister Jacke, “The family’s strong faith is the only reason we are standing together as a pillar of strength.”
Right now, we ask for your prayers, prayers for Marcai, the children Noah and Jack, and for Marcai’s father, Jim. Also for all of us trying to make sense of this, including Marcai’s brother, Anthony James Langdon and all The Van Woerkom Family – brothers Ryan and Mitchell, and Krysten, Mitchell’s wife. Our lives will never be the same. Thank you for all your support – this is such a fragile situation, whose course can now only be influenced by the love, light and friendship from you, our dear family, our friends and community.
Thank you, Godspeed and Blessings.
I’ll Stand By You
“I’ll Stand By You” is a power ballad song that pledges Love and Faithful assistance in times of personal darkness.
“I’ll Stand by You” is a 1994 song recorded by The Pretenders from their sixth studio album, Last of the Independents. Written by Chrissie Hynde in collaboration with the songwriting team of Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg (who used the melody from Johann Sebastian Bach’s Minuet for Lovers), it was the Pretenders’ most recent significant hit single and their last successful single in North America. (Source: Wikipedia)